The Drug of the Nation

Television here in Canada reminds me very much of a certain Penny Arcade cartoon about Alice. It rocks, then it sucks, then it rocks, and so on. Happily, there's always plenty of Simpsons and Family Guy, with liberal sprinklings of Junkyard Wars and Takeshi's Castle, not to mention the live Curling, which has a hypnotic charm all of it's own. Unhappily, all this joy is constantly interrupted by the ads, which are generally pretty appalling.

We get ads for debt refinancing, feminine hygeine products, Bowflex, diet pills, diet drinks, diet surgery, Bowflex, anti-marijuana, anti-stealing-cable-signals, personal wealth enhancement, natural male enhancement, chemical peels and of course, more Bowflex. It's like being regularly sprayed with raw effluent in my own lounge, and since this is cable, I'm technically paying for the privilege. We've taken to muting the tv during the ad breaks to preserve our sanity, or at least to avoid buying a Bowflex.

Just about every station edits out the swearing as well, which for hardassed movies like Reservoir Dogs makes for a pretty silly end product. Mr Orange is lying on the floor covered in blood, with Mr White and Nice Guy Eddie pointing guns at each other, and Mr White calls Eddie a "Stupid Funny Cowboy." It was a complete travesty, so I fled the channel and flipped to Happy Gilmore punching Bob Barker in the face. Then he smiled and said "The price is WRONG... Bobby!" and I had to turn the whole thing off.